She was cold. That's all she knew then, as she stood on the edge of the driveway, staring into the garage door. Her body trembled in the fierce cold of the winter evening, trying to fend it off.
She was so conflicted, not knowing whether to go find him or to leave. Had he been leading her on when he saw her last? What if he no longer wanted her, was too great for her?
What if he was a proud ass, so wrapped up in himself that he wouldn't think twice of her? And how angry she would be if he were like that, after how much heart and pain she had poured into him. So much rage, she might explode. Her fists clenched at the very thought of him forgetting her, just to remember himself.
"Bastard," she hissed, eyes narrowing at the garage door. "I hate you."
(unfinished... I think XD)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Don't know what to do? D:
I've been faced with an extremely hard decision.
I can either move in with my uncle, or stay here with my mom.
Pros about moving in with uncle: more art-friendly environment, food will be served EVERY night, people will actually care about me and I will have a bed.
Cons: I won't be seeing my mom every day, and it will be difficult keeping Romulus there because they have three dogs and Rom is scared of other animals.
Pros about staying here: more free privileges (such as computer + moping time), allowed to be anti-social when I just don't want to care, can stay up as long as I want, no problems keeping Romulus
Cons: no one cares about me (well, one "cares" about me but he's a fucking moron and I want him to die, honestly.), I will often be ignored by my own mother, etc.
So the real problem is, I can either have a family or have my cat.
And really, I'm leaning towards my cat these days... I'm really more attached to him than people, because he's the only one who's been "there" for me these last few months.
But I know I need a real family (and my mom doesn't give a fuck if I leave anyway), so... I don't know what to do. I want my cat but I want somewhere to be loved, too. ._.
I can either move in with my uncle, or stay here with my mom.
Pros about moving in with uncle: more art-friendly environment, food will be served EVERY night, people will actually care about me and I will have a bed.
Cons: I won't be seeing my mom every day, and it will be difficult keeping Romulus there because they have three dogs and Rom is scared of other animals.
Pros about staying here: more free privileges (such as computer + moping time), allowed to be anti-social when I just don't want to care, can stay up as long as I want, no problems keeping Romulus
Cons: no one cares about me (well, one "cares" about me but he's a fucking moron and I want him to die, honestly.), I will often be ignored by my own mother, etc.
So the real problem is, I can either have a family or have my cat.
And really, I'm leaning towards my cat these days... I'm really more attached to him than people, because he's the only one who's been "there" for me these last few months.
But I know I need a real family (and my mom doesn't give a fuck if I leave anyway), so... I don't know what to do. I want my cat but I want somewhere to be loved, too. ._.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
blank
> boyfriend gets you pregnant
> boyfriend leaves you to go back to his other baby momma, gets arrested for violating restraining order and goes to jail for 5 months
> sends you jail letters talking about weird shit the entire time
> you and i laugh at his horrible grammar, and you let me hate him and go on about how much of a jerk he is, without stopping me because you somewhat agree
> he comes back from jail, you guys love each other again
- i obviously don't like it and whine about it constantly
> a few months later i decide i've whined enough...
>... until the fights start
> you both fight at least once a week, usually because he would get drunk
> he treats you like the shit through the rest of your pregnancy, putting off getting a real job while you work until just a week before the baby is born
> the NIGHT before the baby is born, he accuses you of having sex with some guys when you went to go get a new vacuum cleaner
> the next day he watches the baby get born, has a beer and then takes a nap while you have to stay up
(around this point is where i called you because i was having a panic attack or something and i missed you a lot, and my aunt had to come check on me because of how bad it was getting)
> i cry because it sounds like you're really tired and worn out
> let me repeat, I SHOW VISIBLE PAIN FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF THIS GUY
> baby comes home, he doesn't do much for the first month or so, still doesn't get a job
> fights
> beer
> fights and fights
> i'm trying to keep my cool because the first few fights i freaked out and got a knife in case he put his hands on you but it's hard because i don't want him in my home
> more fights
> some more fights
> hey guess what we're doing
> fighting
> AND THEN HAVING MAKE-UP SEX
> and then fighting the next day
MEANWHILE I am
- rebelliously not doing the dishes to show i'm not content with this relationship
- watching the baby when he goes out for a smoke
- taking care of the baby because even the BABY hates him
- occasionally, OCCASIONALLY, giving a little grief to YOU PERSONALLY about him because i just get fed up sometimes
- and sending you ONE SONG that accurately depicts his attitude ("Snakes" by Voltaire)
so why the fuck do you feel the need to tell me just how SHITTY i'm acting, exactly?
where does all my shit factor in against this dumbfuck?
and don't pull the "you've hated all my boyfriends" on me. i like scott and the guy with the Model A and dwayne and frank and bill and his kids and i even liked joe a little.
at least 90% of them gave a fuck about ME, TOO and NOT JUST HAVING YOU FOR SEX
stubborn bitch
by the way i pretty much only listed the shit he did
i didn't include all the lies and the hurtful things you did to me in this process
and i'd also like to mention the nightmare i had the other night
where he actually DID put his hands on you and i grabbed him by the throat and choked him
> boyfriend leaves you to go back to his other baby momma, gets arrested for violating restraining order and goes to jail for 5 months
> sends you jail letters talking about weird shit the entire time
> you and i laugh at his horrible grammar, and you let me hate him and go on about how much of a jerk he is, without stopping me because you somewhat agree
> he comes back from jail, you guys love each other again
- i obviously don't like it and whine about it constantly
> a few months later i decide i've whined enough...
>... until the fights start
> you both fight at least once a week, usually because he would get drunk
> he treats you like the shit through the rest of your pregnancy, putting off getting a real job while you work until just a week before the baby is born
> the NIGHT before the baby is born, he accuses you of having sex with some guys when you went to go get a new vacuum cleaner
> the next day he watches the baby get born, has a beer and then takes a nap while you have to stay up
(around this point is where i called you because i was having a panic attack or something and i missed you a lot, and my aunt had to come check on me because of how bad it was getting)
> i cry because it sounds like you're really tired and worn out
> let me repeat, I SHOW VISIBLE PAIN FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF THIS GUY
> baby comes home, he doesn't do much for the first month or so, still doesn't get a job
> fights
> beer
> fights and fights
> i'm trying to keep my cool because the first few fights i freaked out and got a knife in case he put his hands on you but it's hard because i don't want him in my home
> more fights
> some more fights
> hey guess what we're doing
> fighting
> AND THEN HAVING MAKE-UP SEX
> and then fighting the next day
MEANWHILE I am
- rebelliously not doing the dishes to show i'm not content with this relationship
- watching the baby when he goes out for a smoke
- taking care of the baby because even the BABY hates him
- occasionally, OCCASIONALLY, giving a little grief to YOU PERSONALLY about him because i just get fed up sometimes
- and sending you ONE SONG that accurately depicts his attitude ("Snakes" by Voltaire)
so why the fuck do you feel the need to tell me just how SHITTY i'm acting, exactly?
where does all my shit factor in against this dumbfuck?
and don't pull the "you've hated all my boyfriends" on me. i like scott and the guy with the Model A and dwayne and frank and bill and his kids and i even liked joe a little.
at least 90% of them gave a fuck about ME, TOO and NOT JUST HAVING YOU FOR SEX
stubborn bitch
by the way i pretty much only listed the shit he did
i didn't include all the lies and the hurtful things you did to me in this process
and i'd also like to mention the nightmare i had the other night
where he actually DID put his hands on you and i grabbed him by the throat and choked him
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
because i'm bored
*...:::TWO HUNDRED T H I N G S A B O U T Y O U:::...*
Real Name: Cheyenne McDerp
Age: 16
Height: 5' 8’’
Natural Hair Color: blonde
Eye Color: blue
Skin Color: white as a sheet of paper
Glasses/Contacts: none, though I'd really like red or yellow contacts to reflect my personality :V
Piercing: eyebrows
Tattoos: none yet
Braces: hell to the no, peeps ain't touching my teeth
Mannerisms: My legs move a lot when I get excited/nervous, and the one time I had one of those "head over heels" in-love things, I actually had to go run a mile to get the feeling out of my legs XD
Other Distinctive Markings: a big scar on my calf and a birth mark on my knee
FAVORITE
Color: red/black
Band/Singer: Avenged Sevenfold AWWWYEAH
Video Game: ...Pokemon. And Soul Caliber III
Movie: dgfhddf at the moment ummm HTTYD I think
Book: Harry Potter series (1-4 only)
Food: salad, Subway sammiches, and pizzaaaa... oh and bagels with cream cheese
Game: pretend :'D I love to pretend to be a spy, or an anti-hero
CD: i...hate all my CDs. well, Steal This Album! has an awesome case/cover, and Three Days Grace's One-X is alright if I'm in the mood for it
Flower: ...roses :V
Scent: dragon's blood, berries
Animal: pretty much anything reptilian (except chameleons)
Comic Book: uhh... I don't read comics often so idk.
Cereal: Kix or Cinnamon Toast Crunch
WebSite: deviantART (minus the dArama)
Cartoon: DANNY PHANTOM MOTHAHFUCKAHS and Ben 10 and South Park...
DO YOU
Play An Instrument?: not very well xD
Like To Sing?: yes, but again, not very well...
Have A Job?: not really
Have A Cell Phone?: yeah :U
Like To Play Sports?: actually I do, but it's one of those "I DON'T WANT TO" until I'm actually doing it xD
Have A Boyfriend/Girlfriend?: kind of
Have A Crush On Someone?: ...fuck yeah
Live Somewhere NOT In The United States?: unfortunately, no
Have More Than 5 TVs In Your House?: lmao no.
Have Any Special Talents/Skills?: I draw better than the average teenager :V and I can do different voices
Exercise Daily?: ....no I'm fat for a reason
Like School?: hell to the NO. I used to like it, before I got friends...
CAN YOU
Say The Alphabet Backwards?: oh god no I'm somewhat dyslexic as it is
Stand On Your Tip Toes Without Wearing Shoes?: no xD my toes think I'm too fat
Speak Any Other Languages?: a liiiittle bit of American Sign Language, and a bit of Spanish
Go A Day Without Food?: yeah, I can actually go for a while without food... like, three days max before I start getting sick
Remember Your Dreams: almost all the time :U
Read Music, Not Just Tabs?: ...uhh... no?
Roll Your tongue?: naahh my tongue isn't that great at anything (which is why I'm a bad kisser...)
Eat A Whole Pizza?: If I'm in the mood for it, yes... but I'll feel really ugly after three pieces so I just stop there if I'm not in one of those "IDGAF WHAT HAPPENS" moods
HAVE YOU EVER
Won Something In The Lottery?: nnnnope
Snuck Out Of The House?: once
Lied To Get Out Of Trouble?: shit yeah... and I STILL haven't been caught and it's been like, ten years
Had A Computer Crash?: yes, this fucking thing sucks
Gotten Lost In Your City?: I fell asleep in the car and my mom took a weird way to get home... so I woke up and I was like "whoa holy shit WHERE ARE WE???!!"
Seen A Shooting Star?: yeeeep
Been To Any Other Countries?: no, but I want to. mostly England
Had A Serious Surgery?: uhhh none that I know of, mostly just shots :U
Stolen Something Important To Someone Else?: *thinks* ...nope
Solved A Rubiks Cube?: no because i fucking HATE THOSE THINGS
Gone Out In Public In Your Pajamas?: yeah xD
Cried Over A Girl?: yeeeep
Cried Over A Boy?: yeah and I went psycho over one too
Kissed A Random Stranger?: wtf no
Hugged A Random Stranger?: YES i love doing that
Been In A Fist Fight?: yes xD but not recently... though I think I can do better if I ever got into one again
Been Arrested?: nope nope
Done Drugs?: yeah, i slightly overdosed on vicodin once... shit made me see pink elephants in my math class. it was awesome and terrifying at the same time
Had Alcohol?: yeeepp
Laughed And Had Milk Come Out Of Your Nose?: lmao no
Pushed All The Buttons On An Elevator?: noooope
Sneaked Into The Opposite Sex's Bathroom?: -almost-, when i was like, 9
Gone To School Only To Find You Had The Day Off Because Of A Holiday Or Something Else?: no but that would have been a pleasant surprise!
Swore At Your Parents?: well i've accidentally cursed in front of my mom but not at her lol
Kicked A Guy Where It Hurts?: maybe once
Been To A Casino?: yeah... but I was there for the buffet, with my grandpa xD
Ran Over An Animal And Killed It?: not me personally, but my aunt accidentally hit a dog and killed it when we were going to lunch
Broken A Bone?: fractured a finger but no broken bones! i r scared of pain
Gotten Stitches?: nope nope~
Had A Water Balloon Fight In Winter?: lmao no, I've never even been in a water balloon fight in the SUMMER, i hate balloons
Made Home-Made Muffins?: fghdjfg yes
Bitten Someone?: YES I actually love doing that, and we would have biting competitions when I was a freshman xD
Been To Disney Land/Disney World?: SHIT YEAH BITCHES, I FUCKING LOVE DISNEYLAND and i'm going there for my 18th birthday to attack Carsland OOH YEAAHH
Burped In Someone’s Face?: ...yes
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU...
Brushed Your Teeth: THIS IS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION
Cried: oh like 6 hours ago
Went To The Bathroom: ...i don't remember, sometime earlier
Saw A Movie In A Theater: OH I CAN ANSWER THIS UM UMMM... ummm fuck fuck OH the new Narnia
Read A Book: back around Christmas xD
Had A Snow Day: ahh I live in central California, we've never heard of a snow day xD
Had A Party: like... shit, three years ago? I don't like parties :/
Went To A Doctor: omfg i don't even remember, i hate doctors too
Tripped In Front Of Someone: uhh the last time i went out in public... two days ago-ish? :|
Went To The Grocery Store: I don't remember
Got sick: ummm in January I think
Got Cursed: magick-wise, I can't say I ever have been... cussword wise, earlier this morning by my mother lol
Called Someone: um... dunno, I don't call people :/
DO YOU PREFER
Fruit/Vegetables: fruuuuit I love sweet things
Black/White: black >:U *is totally Gothic... and hates white because it hurts her eyes*
Lights On/Lights Off: dim lights on xD I don't like the dark but I can't stand being showered in light
TV/Movie: TV, usually, because I love watching cartoons and BBCA
Body Spray/Lotion: body spray, the female kind that doesn't smell like ox ass. lotion makes my skin feel... slimy >_>
Cash/Check: CAAASH baby
Pillows/Blankets: pillows if my body is sore, blankets if I'm having a sad
Headache/Stomachache: headache, because that won't result in something really embarrassing later on... xD
Paint/Charcoal: actually, i like both :U but paint has colours to it sooo paint
Chinese Food/Mexican Food: mexican... i HATE chinese food (I hate a lot of things actually)
Summer/Winter: winter!
Snow/Rain: raaain <3
Fog/Misty: foggy pleeease
Rock/Rap: rock >:V
Meat/Vegetarian: vegetarian, surprisingly XD *trying to get on a better diet*
Chocolate/Vanilla: vanilla! :dummy:
Sprinkles/Icing: ICING :la:
Cake/Pie: cake, pie is gross... unless it's one of those deliciously fattening Homerun packaged pies :paranoid: shit's delicious I tell ya
Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberries... blueberries taste ugly to me >_>
Ocean/Swimming Pool: pool :noes: the ocean gives Deege a scared
Cookies/Muffins: cookies UNLESS it's a chocolate muffin, then i'll have a dilemma
Wallet/Pocket: pocket B| i like wallets for their designs (I have a Ghostbusters and an Autobot wallet myself) but they're just... kind of showing off lol
Window/Door: windows! big ones, not tiny little basement fuckers
Charles Chaplin/Chespirito: ...wgdfjf wat
Pink/Purple: purple, dark purple
Cat/Dog: kitty please! dogs are good for active people, but i like to relax with a kitty on my belly any day of the week xD
Long Sleeve/Short Sleeve: long sleeve... I wear arm socks and jackets even in the summer xD
Pants/Shorts: pants, dear god I do not want to subject others to the horror that is my thunder thighs
Winter Break/Spring Break: winter break, longer + CHRISTMAS
Spring/Autumn: autumn... 1) it's the name of my car, 2) HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!
Clouds/Clear Sky: cloudy... vampier ddege do nawt liek teh sun
Moon/Mars: moon :U
Questions/Answers: questions!!!
War/Peace: peace :T
Do You Believe In Love?: yeeeep
What's The Most Important Kind Of Love For You?: soul mate love... it's kind of all i have, i don't trust any other love (because i know deep inside i'm still just a human, AND a teenager, and for all i know it could just be hormones wanting to get laid >_> )
Have You Ever Been In Love?: mmhm
Been close with love?: mmmmmmhm
If You Have, With Who?: LOTS OF FEMALES well actually like... three. lol. the rest are dudes :V
Ever Confessed Your Feelings To The One You Liked?: yes, embarrassing results ended up with me never wanting to ask people out ever again :1
Have You Ever Thought Of How Long You'd Be Together With Someone You Love?: yessss
Are You In A Relationship?: ...kind of? I mean I don't want to be with anyone else because of it, lol
If So, For How Long?: aahh like 3 years?
Do You Believe There Is Someone For Everyone?: not for the dickwads, nope
How Old Were You When You Got Your First Kiss?: my first KISS kiss? ....like.... *coughfifteencough* BUT IT WASN'T MUTUAL as i later found out, that bitch
Do You Think Love Is Worth Nothing?: nope :U
Best Experience You’ve Ever Had With The Opposite Sex?: SEX no not really... best experience has to be with Tristan and Braedon, when we all went out for a big ol' Wicca day at the park xD
Have You Ever Been Dumped?: the one time i had a "boyfriend", i dumped him because he was being an asshole. so no xD
Have You Ever Dumped Someone?: *points to above question*
I...
Am: kind of upset
Want: a fucking car
Need: love
Love: umm...
Hate: how people act towards me when I have feelings (in other words IT'S NOT A FUCKING PHASE WITH ME so please STOP treating me like an "average teenager", goddamn)
Feel: kinda sick... not physically, mentally
Did: some weird shit
Miss: my grandpa
Am Annoyed By: people in general
Would Rather: be a witch
Am Tired Of: being ignored just because of my age and how i used to act
Will Always: be a little bit sad for everything
MISCELLANEOUS
What Is Your Favourite Genre Of Music?: pretty much hard rock, but recently I've been cool with the old '80s stuff. been listening to Journey a lot xD
What Time Is It Now?: 4:03 AM, pacific time... yes it's called an all-nighter folks
How Much Money Do You Have Right Now?: ...a lot of quarters. *LOOOOOOOOVES quarters*
Are You Hungry Right Now?: somewhat?
What Are You Doing Right Now?: pretty much just this quiz... and your mom
Do You Like Parades?: depends xD
Do You Like The Moon?: *ahem* yes.
What Are You Going To Do When You're Done With This?: aaahh probably go back to bed and watch television
If You Could Have Any Magical Power What Would It Be?: FUCKING FLIGHT BITCHES or maybe shapeshifting lol
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Funny?: usually
Cool?: ...depends
Pretty?: wtf fuck no
Sarcastic?: .....you cannot be serious
Lazy?: haha it's my number one trait
Hyper?: only when i'm in a REALLLL good mood
Friendly?: i can be! ...but not recently
Evil?: oh god yeah... but for some reason, it's kind of starting to recede... in that, i wanna be evil, but when i do evil things I feel horribly guilty afterwards >_>
Unforgettable?: if i can be a liiiiittle bit vain for a moment... no. i like to make sure that people never forget me. hence why I wear steampunk goggles and have a loud obnoxious voice!
Smart?: well.... actually yeah >_>;;; but it gets a little wobbly sometimes
Strong?: aaahhh you have to piss me off really... and I have a good kick
Talented?: somewhat..
Dorky?: oh dear neptune yes
WHAT COMES TO MIND WITH THE WORD
High: i'm stooooooooooned
Lonely: foreveralone
Pen: THIS FUCKING INK IS EVERYWHERE
Flower: roadrunners
Window: put your face against it and make silly noises
Psycho: SHOWER CURTAINS
Brain Freeze: ice cream nom nom
Strange: the twilight zone... wtf?
Sassy: them fucking Bratz dolls I want to burn them
Suffering: coheed & cambria
Art: SCHOOL IS FOR IT
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky Dive?: -maybe- ... I want to but I'm afraid of dying by squish
Run Away?: aahh yeah if i ever made enough money to do it properly. (i.e. transportation away, some cash to rent a hotel + get food, at least enough to survive a week alone)
Curse At A Teacher?: ...I did once LOL
Not Take A Shower For A Week?: I did that too... but I was at camp and they had shitty shower rules -_-
Ask Someone Out?: i did that too :|
Unscrew Your Cell Phone To See What's Inside?: i've done a lot of these things especially this. i LOVE taking things apart
Visit A Foreign Country For More Than A Month?: shit i would LIVE there... if the weather was okay and there wasn't a war going on
Go Scuba Diving?: oh god no i hate the ocean
Write A Book?: yeah but i get discouraged/bored after a while
Assemble A Computer?: ....no
Become A Rock Star?: wtf no xD maybe an artist for their CD covers but no rockin' for me
Have A Long-Distance Relationship?: ...i do
Marry Someone You Don't Know?: what the fuck NO
LAST QUESTIONS
What Kind Of Computer Do You Have?: I donnnnn't know
What Level Of Studies Are You In?: wat
Do You Like To Throw Popcorn At People In The Movies?: yes.... I want to do that at the Twilight movies lol
How Many Posters Do You Have In Your Room?: aaaaa lot?
Who Else Should Take This Waste Of Time?: idk your mom?
Real Name: Cheyenne McDerp
Age: 16
Height: 5' 8’’
Natural Hair Color: blonde
Eye Color: blue
Skin Color: white as a sheet of paper
Glasses/Contacts: none, though I'd really like red or yellow contacts to reflect my personality :V
Piercing: eyebrows
Tattoos: none yet
Braces: hell to the no, peeps ain't touching my teeth
Mannerisms: My legs move a lot when I get excited/nervous, and the one time I had one of those "head over heels" in-love things, I actually had to go run a mile to get the feeling out of my legs XD
Other Distinctive Markings: a big scar on my calf and a birth mark on my knee
FAVORITE
Color: red/black
Band/Singer: Avenged Sevenfold AWWWYEAH
Video Game: ...Pokemon. And Soul Caliber III
Movie: dgfhddf at the moment ummm HTTYD I think
Book: Harry Potter series (1-4 only)
Food: salad, Subway sammiches, and pizzaaaa... oh and bagels with cream cheese
Game: pretend :'D I love to pretend to be a spy, or an anti-hero
CD: i...hate all my CDs. well, Steal This Album! has an awesome case/cover, and Three Days Grace's One-X is alright if I'm in the mood for it
Flower: ...roses :V
Scent: dragon's blood, berries
Animal: pretty much anything reptilian (except chameleons)
Comic Book: uhh... I don't read comics often so idk.
Cereal: Kix or Cinnamon Toast Crunch
WebSite: deviantART (minus the dArama)
Cartoon: DANNY PHANTOM MOTHAHFUCKAHS and Ben 10 and South Park...
DO YOU
Play An Instrument?: not very well xD
Like To Sing?: yes, but again, not very well...
Have A Job?: not really
Have A Cell Phone?: yeah :U
Like To Play Sports?: actually I do, but it's one of those "I DON'T WANT TO" until I'm actually doing it xD
Have A Boyfriend/Girlfriend?: kind of
Have A Crush On Someone?: ...fuck yeah
Live Somewhere NOT In The United States?: unfortunately, no
Have More Than 5 TVs In Your House?: lmao no.
Have Any Special Talents/Skills?: I draw better than the average teenager :V and I can do different voices
Exercise Daily?: ....no I'm fat for a reason
Like School?: hell to the NO. I used to like it, before I got friends...
CAN YOU
Say The Alphabet Backwards?: oh god no I'm somewhat dyslexic as it is
Stand On Your Tip Toes Without Wearing Shoes?: no xD my toes think I'm too fat
Speak Any Other Languages?: a liiiittle bit of American Sign Language, and a bit of Spanish
Go A Day Without Food?: yeah, I can actually go for a while without food... like, three days max before I start getting sick
Remember Your Dreams: almost all the time :U
Read Music, Not Just Tabs?: ...uhh... no?
Roll Your tongue?: naahh my tongue isn't that great at anything (which is why I'm a bad kisser...)
Eat A Whole Pizza?: If I'm in the mood for it, yes... but I'll feel really ugly after three pieces so I just stop there if I'm not in one of those "IDGAF WHAT HAPPENS" moods
HAVE YOU EVER
Won Something In The Lottery?: nnnnope
Snuck Out Of The House?: once
Lied To Get Out Of Trouble?: shit yeah... and I STILL haven't been caught and it's been like, ten years
Had A Computer Crash?: yes, this fucking thing sucks
Gotten Lost In Your City?: I fell asleep in the car and my mom took a weird way to get home... so I woke up and I was like "whoa holy shit WHERE ARE WE???!!"
Seen A Shooting Star?: yeeeep
Been To Any Other Countries?: no, but I want to. mostly England
Had A Serious Surgery?: uhhh none that I know of, mostly just shots :U
Stolen Something Important To Someone Else?: *thinks* ...nope
Solved A Rubiks Cube?: no because i fucking HATE THOSE THINGS
Gone Out In Public In Your Pajamas?: yeah xD
Cried Over A Girl?: yeeeep
Cried Over A Boy?: yeah and I went psycho over one too
Kissed A Random Stranger?: wtf no
Hugged A Random Stranger?: YES i love doing that
Been In A Fist Fight?: yes xD but not recently... though I think I can do better if I ever got into one again
Been Arrested?: nope nope
Done Drugs?: yeah, i slightly overdosed on vicodin once... shit made me see pink elephants in my math class. it was awesome and terrifying at the same time
Had Alcohol?: yeeepp
Laughed And Had Milk Come Out Of Your Nose?: lmao no
Pushed All The Buttons On An Elevator?: noooope
Sneaked Into The Opposite Sex's Bathroom?: -almost-, when i was like, 9
Gone To School Only To Find You Had The Day Off Because Of A Holiday Or Something Else?: no but that would have been a pleasant surprise!
Swore At Your Parents?: well i've accidentally cursed in front of my mom but not at her lol
Kicked A Guy Where It Hurts?: maybe once
Been To A Casino?: yeah... but I was there for the buffet, with my grandpa xD
Ran Over An Animal And Killed It?: not me personally, but my aunt accidentally hit a dog and killed it when we were going to lunch
Broken A Bone?: fractured a finger but no broken bones! i r scared of pain
Gotten Stitches?: nope nope~
Had A Water Balloon Fight In Winter?: lmao no, I've never even been in a water balloon fight in the SUMMER, i hate balloons
Made Home-Made Muffins?: fghdjfg yes
Bitten Someone?: YES I actually love doing that, and we would have biting competitions when I was a freshman xD
Been To Disney Land/Disney World?: SHIT YEAH BITCHES, I FUCKING LOVE DISNEYLAND and i'm going there for my 18th birthday to attack Carsland OOH YEAAHH
Burped In Someone’s Face?: ...yes
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU...
Brushed Your Teeth: THIS IS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION
Cried: oh like 6 hours ago
Went To The Bathroom: ...i don't remember, sometime earlier
Saw A Movie In A Theater: OH I CAN ANSWER THIS UM UMMM... ummm fuck fuck OH the new Narnia
Read A Book: back around Christmas xD
Had A Snow Day: ahh I live in central California, we've never heard of a snow day xD
Had A Party: like... shit, three years ago? I don't like parties :/
Went To A Doctor: omfg i don't even remember, i hate doctors too
Tripped In Front Of Someone: uhh the last time i went out in public... two days ago-ish? :|
Went To The Grocery Store: I don't remember
Got sick: ummm in January I think
Got Cursed: magick-wise, I can't say I ever have been... cussword wise, earlier this morning by my mother lol
Called Someone: um... dunno, I don't call people :/
DO YOU PREFER
Fruit/Vegetables: fruuuuit I love sweet things
Black/White: black >:U *is totally Gothic... and hates white because it hurts her eyes*
Lights On/Lights Off: dim lights on xD I don't like the dark but I can't stand being showered in light
TV/Movie: TV, usually, because I love watching cartoons and BBCA
Body Spray/Lotion: body spray, the female kind that doesn't smell like ox ass. lotion makes my skin feel... slimy >_>
Cash/Check: CAAASH baby
Pillows/Blankets: pillows if my body is sore, blankets if I'm having a sad
Headache/Stomachache: headache, because that won't result in something really embarrassing later on... xD
Paint/Charcoal: actually, i like both :U but paint has colours to it sooo paint
Chinese Food/Mexican Food: mexican... i HATE chinese food (I hate a lot of things actually)
Summer/Winter: winter!
Snow/Rain: raaain <3
Fog/Misty: foggy pleeease
Rock/Rap: rock >:V
Meat/Vegetarian: vegetarian, surprisingly XD *trying to get on a better diet*
Chocolate/Vanilla: vanilla! :dummy:
Sprinkles/Icing: ICING :la:
Cake/Pie: cake, pie is gross... unless it's one of those deliciously fattening Homerun packaged pies :paranoid: shit's delicious I tell ya
Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberries... blueberries taste ugly to me >_>
Ocean/Swimming Pool: pool :noes: the ocean gives Deege a scared
Cookies/Muffins: cookies UNLESS it's a chocolate muffin, then i'll have a dilemma
Wallet/Pocket: pocket B| i like wallets for their designs (I have a Ghostbusters and an Autobot wallet myself) but they're just... kind of showing off lol
Window/Door: windows! big ones, not tiny little basement fuckers
Charles Chaplin/Chespirito: ...wgdfjf wat
Pink/Purple: purple, dark purple
Cat/Dog: kitty please! dogs are good for active people, but i like to relax with a kitty on my belly any day of the week xD
Long Sleeve/Short Sleeve: long sleeve... I wear arm socks and jackets even in the summer xD
Pants/Shorts: pants, dear god I do not want to subject others to the horror that is my thunder thighs
Winter Break/Spring Break: winter break, longer + CHRISTMAS
Spring/Autumn: autumn... 1) it's the name of my car, 2) HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!
Clouds/Clear Sky: cloudy... vampier ddege do nawt liek teh sun
Moon/Mars: moon :U
Questions/Answers: questions!!!
War/Peace: peace :T
Do You Believe In Love?: yeeeep
What's The Most Important Kind Of Love For You?: soul mate love... it's kind of all i have, i don't trust any other love (because i know deep inside i'm still just a human, AND a teenager, and for all i know it could just be hormones wanting to get laid >_> )
Have You Ever Been In Love?: mmhm
Been close with love?: mmmmmmhm
If You Have, With Who?: LOTS OF FEMALES well actually like... three. lol. the rest are dudes :V
Ever Confessed Your Feelings To The One You Liked?: yes, embarrassing results ended up with me never wanting to ask people out ever again :1
Have You Ever Thought Of How Long You'd Be Together With Someone You Love?: yessss
Are You In A Relationship?: ...kind of? I mean I don't want to be with anyone else because of it, lol
If So, For How Long?: aahh like 3 years?
Do You Believe There Is Someone For Everyone?: not for the dickwads, nope
How Old Were You When You Got Your First Kiss?: my first KISS kiss? ....like.... *coughfifteencough* BUT IT WASN'T MUTUAL as i later found out, that bitch
Do You Think Love Is Worth Nothing?: nope :U
Best Experience You’ve Ever Had With The Opposite Sex?: SEX no not really... best experience has to be with Tristan and Braedon, when we all went out for a big ol' Wicca day at the park xD
Have You Ever Been Dumped?: the one time i had a "boyfriend", i dumped him because he was being an asshole. so no xD
Have You Ever Dumped Someone?: *points to above question*
I...
Am: kind of upset
Want: a fucking car
Need: love
Love: umm...
Hate: how people act towards me when I have feelings (in other words IT'S NOT A FUCKING PHASE WITH ME so please STOP treating me like an "average teenager", goddamn)
Feel: kinda sick... not physically, mentally
Did: some weird shit
Miss: my grandpa
Am Annoyed By: people in general
Would Rather: be a witch
Am Tired Of: being ignored just because of my age and how i used to act
Will Always: be a little bit sad for everything
MISCELLANEOUS
What Is Your Favourite Genre Of Music?: pretty much hard rock, but recently I've been cool with the old '80s stuff. been listening to Journey a lot xD
What Time Is It Now?: 4:03 AM, pacific time... yes it's called an all-nighter folks
How Much Money Do You Have Right Now?: ...a lot of quarters. *LOOOOOOOOVES quarters*
Are You Hungry Right Now?: somewhat?
What Are You Doing Right Now?: pretty much just this quiz... and your mom
Do You Like Parades?: depends xD
Do You Like The Moon?: *ahem* yes.
What Are You Going To Do When You're Done With This?: aaahh probably go back to bed and watch television
If You Could Have Any Magical Power What Would It Be?: FUCKING FLIGHT BITCHES or maybe shapeshifting lol
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Funny?: usually
Cool?: ...depends
Pretty?: wtf fuck no
Sarcastic?: .....you cannot be serious
Lazy?: haha it's my number one trait
Hyper?: only when i'm in a REALLLL good mood
Friendly?: i can be! ...but not recently
Evil?: oh god yeah... but for some reason, it's kind of starting to recede... in that, i wanna be evil, but when i do evil things I feel horribly guilty afterwards >_>
Unforgettable?: if i can be a liiiiittle bit vain for a moment... no. i like to make sure that people never forget me. hence why I wear steampunk goggles and have a loud obnoxious voice!
Smart?: well.... actually yeah >_>;;; but it gets a little wobbly sometimes
Strong?: aaahhh you have to piss me off really... and I have a good kick
Talented?: somewhat..
Dorky?: oh dear neptune yes
WHAT COMES TO MIND WITH THE WORD
High: i'm stooooooooooned
Lonely: foreveralone
Pen: THIS FUCKING INK IS EVERYWHERE
Flower: roadrunners
Window: put your face against it and make silly noises
Psycho: SHOWER CURTAINS
Brain Freeze: ice cream nom nom
Strange: the twilight zone... wtf?
Sassy: them fucking Bratz dolls I want to burn them
Suffering: coheed & cambria
Art: SCHOOL IS FOR IT
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky Dive?: -maybe- ... I want to but I'm afraid of dying by squish
Run Away?: aahh yeah if i ever made enough money to do it properly. (i.e. transportation away, some cash to rent a hotel + get food, at least enough to survive a week alone)
Curse At A Teacher?: ...I did once LOL
Not Take A Shower For A Week?: I did that too... but I was at camp and they had shitty shower rules -_-
Ask Someone Out?: i did that too :|
Unscrew Your Cell Phone To See What's Inside?: i've done a lot of these things especially this. i LOVE taking things apart
Visit A Foreign Country For More Than A Month?: shit i would LIVE there... if the weather was okay and there wasn't a war going on
Go Scuba Diving?: oh god no i hate the ocean
Write A Book?: yeah but i get discouraged/bored after a while
Assemble A Computer?: ....no
Become A Rock Star?: wtf no xD maybe an artist for their CD covers but no rockin' for me
Have A Long-Distance Relationship?: ...i do
Marry Someone You Don't Know?: what the fuck NO
LAST QUESTIONS
What Kind Of Computer Do You Have?: I donnnnn't know
What Level Of Studies Are You In?: wat
Do You Like To Throw Popcorn At People In The Movies?: yes.... I want to do that at the Twilight movies lol
How Many Posters Do You Have In Your Room?: aaaaa lot?
Who Else Should Take This Waste Of Time?: idk your mom?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
just a quick message
FUCK OFF HE'S MINE IF YOU TOUCH HIM I WILL HURT YOU
oh god i needed to get that out so bad
oh god i needed to get that out so bad
Friday, February 4, 2011
a secret i've never told
Okay, I think it's time I got something out. Something happened to me years ago, when I was young and innocent and all that cutesy jazz. I've never talked about it because I don't often reflect on it. I don't know why, really - it was a horrible experience and I don't think I'd ever been so scared or confused since or before.
Anyways, rambling...
When I was eight (almost nine, I think), my daycare lady (I call her my aunt) took us and a bunch of the kids from daycare over to one of her older kids' house for a pool party. We all knew the kid and his parents and they knew us, it was all familiar.
Well, after some swimming, I had to use the bathroom. I asked my aunt where the bathroom was and she brought the owner-kid over to show me where. He took me inside, showed me the bathroom, then pushed me and shut the door and raped me. I didn't scream or say anything because I didn't even know what the hell sex was. I just took it. He made me into a dog and I was paralyzed. He left afterwards and I went outside and from there on, I don't remember anything, 'til a week later when I finally told my aunt. She was furious. He called me a liar, but I wasn't.
Four years later, I was home alone. My mom was just a few houses down at her friend's house. I was in my pajamas and watching television in the living room, when someone knocked on the door. I sat there, waiting for them to knock again, and they didn't. So I got up and looked through the peep hole. There was a person out on the sidewalk (having walked away). I thought it was my mom, so I opened the door and instead it was a man I'd never seen before. He saw me and came to the door and said he was selling vacuums, and asked if my mom was home. I said no (biggest mistake of my life). He said alright. Then he told me he'd been doing this all day, and would like to know where our restroom was. I figured, hey, if I was out selling stuff all day in the summer heat, I'd like someone to let me quickly use their restroom, so I let him in and showed him where it was. He went into the bathroom, flushed the toilet to make it SEEM like he'd gone, and then came back and put his hand down my pants. Again, I was paralyzed. He just felt me for a good five or ten seconds, then pulled his hand away and left. I shut the door and called my mom. She found him as he was walking down the street, and the cops were called.
The above explains my fear of answering doors and taking calls. Probably my paranoia too.
I'm glad to get this off my chest, I think.
Anyways, rambling...
When I was eight (almost nine, I think), my daycare lady (I call her my aunt) took us and a bunch of the kids from daycare over to one of her older kids' house for a pool party. We all knew the kid and his parents and they knew us, it was all familiar.
Well, after some swimming, I had to use the bathroom. I asked my aunt where the bathroom was and she brought the owner-kid over to show me where. He took me inside, showed me the bathroom, then pushed me and shut the door and raped me. I didn't scream or say anything because I didn't even know what the hell sex was. I just took it. He made me into a dog and I was paralyzed. He left afterwards and I went outside and from there on, I don't remember anything, 'til a week later when I finally told my aunt. She was furious. He called me a liar, but I wasn't.
Four years later, I was home alone. My mom was just a few houses down at her friend's house. I was in my pajamas and watching television in the living room, when someone knocked on the door. I sat there, waiting for them to knock again, and they didn't. So I got up and looked through the peep hole. There was a person out on the sidewalk (having walked away). I thought it was my mom, so I opened the door and instead it was a man I'd never seen before. He saw me and came to the door and said he was selling vacuums, and asked if my mom was home. I said no (biggest mistake of my life). He said alright. Then he told me he'd been doing this all day, and would like to know where our restroom was. I figured, hey, if I was out selling stuff all day in the summer heat, I'd like someone to let me quickly use their restroom, so I let him in and showed him where it was. He went into the bathroom, flushed the toilet to make it SEEM like he'd gone, and then came back and put his hand down my pants. Again, I was paralyzed. He just felt me for a good five or ten seconds, then pulled his hand away and left. I shut the door and called my mom. She found him as he was walking down the street, and the cops were called.
The above explains my fear of answering doors and taking calls. Probably my paranoia too.
I'm glad to get this off my chest, I think.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
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