Confused.

Hmmm. I don't really get it.

First, you don't talk for days. Weeks. Months. Then you come up with this little... note, and after all that time hurting and being confused, I feel hopeful. Yay, she's not "staying gone forever", she'll come back at some point.

Then I say that I wouldn't know how to react when you came back, and that I'd be so tiptoe-y around you that I probably would be the most boring person to talk to. Then you say that I "got it".

So... you want me to be a fighter again? You want me to do the same thing that annoyed you? Just being a fucking bitch so I can lose you all over again?
God damn it, all I want is to fucking talk to you, and I can't even get that. Now that I look back, I probably would have been "quiet" the first few times we talked again, and then gone right back to however it used to be.
I remember the last REAL fun we had together, four or five months ago. I actually stopped before I started getting really mean, because I knew what reaction you would have.

All I want is to talk. That's all I've EVER wanted. Are you scared of me, or something? What's the worse thing that could happen in a civilized conversation? I know you read this, so here's what I have to say:

When you do get this, for the love of God (or Lucifer, or whatever, I don't know how to use that swear anymore), please just message me. Please just talk to me. Please. I'm not asking, I'm... god damn it, i'm begging.
I promise not to get angry, and I promise to keep my cool, if you will please just talk to me and... tell me things.
Please.